Serial Killer Part 2…Liar Liar Pants on Fire!

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I stood behind the chair, shaking in my Princess dress. My friends were running around the living room, laughing, eating candy and acting like nothing was wrong!

“HELLO PEOPLE!!”, I screamed in my little 4 year old head.  “There was just a devil at the door!! Did you not see that? How could you miss the red face? The horns?…Mommy! Get me out of here!!”

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It happened :::gulp::: 47 years ago, but that Halloween was just one of the many vivid memories I carry of dozens of childhood fears. I was afraid of the clown pictures on my wall, the shadows created in my bedroom by the trees outside my window, vampires in my closet, dinosaurs tromping across my room…the list goes on. I was a child with many irrational fears that seemed oh so real at the time.

By the time I made that trek across the country with my two small children, my fear of little boys in devil masks and imaginary monsters in my closet were long gone . Fear, however, still had a nice comfortable place in my life. My fears just grew up with me.

Fear of being alone forever…

    Fear of something happening to my children…

        Fear of not being able to survive on my pitiful salary…

            Fear of being homeless…

                Fear of driving in a HUGE city with MASSIVE traffic…

                    Fear of losing my children…

Blah blah blah blah blah! The list goes on. When I look back on this list of things that seemed like very real fears, I realize one VERY REAL THING!

never give in to fear

It’s true!  Fear is a big fat liar! Those things I stayed up at night fearing, certain they would all happen?

Well…

I was never alone. For starters, I had children! When you have small children, there’s not even a single chance of going to the bathroom alone! I knew I didn’t want to spend too many years single, so you know what I did? I made a list of what I wanted in a husband then I gave it to God. Within 4 months of making this life changing move, I met the man I would soon marry. After all that time spent in fear of being alone, I was NEVER alone.

Fear is a liar!

My salary as a single mom was never great. In fact, it actually WAS rather scary. When I look back on those years, though, I never went without. My children never went without. When I would lie in bed at night wondering how I would buy groceries for the week, crying out to God for help, it would never fail that at some point in the week, help would come. I’d get an unexpected check in the mail. A friend would bring food or money. I NEVER went without something we needed.

Fear is a liar!

I lived in several different apartments as a single mom. I may have longed for a home with my own 4 walls that I didn’t have to share with sketchy neighbors, but I was NEVER homeless.

Fear is a liar!

During my single mom years, there was always that fear looming over my head that my children’s  dad would one day make good on his threat of a custody battle. He was married, made more money, had a nicer house, nicer things and was just able to provide better. But it never happened.

Fear is a liar!

Most of my former fears have DIED, NEVER to return again. Some have changed. For instance,my fear of driving in crazy big city traffic has changed . I no longer fear it but I’ll NEVER like it! Atlanta traffic has been known to bring people to tears! Atlanta traffic makes me long for a time I never knew. A time when your biggest concern might be making sure your horse stayed hydrated and your buggy wheels didn’t fall off if you hit a rock! Oh Laura Ingalls Wilder, do you know how good you had it? But that “fear” of something happening to my children? Good gracious! I’m a mom! Isn’t that one in the Mom handbook of “Things You Should Worry About for All Your Days”??

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Did you know that you can find 365 different ways of telling you to NOT FEAR in the bible? If God has this fear thing covered EVERY DAY, why oh why do we spend so much time cowering in fear over this and that? Good question, huh?

We’ve got to loose that “serial killer” once again…..it’s done away with selfishness.  Now…

FEAR

     MUST

          GO!!

 

 

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